Harry Splutter & the Lure of Hollyweird

Episode 8

Here it is by popular demand of my reader, the continuing saga of Harry Splutter and the Never Ending Story….

“When a wizard does something bad, like jaywalking, a piece of the sole is torn away and can be placed in a container. Making the wizard, as it were, immortal…if he or she can remember his or her shoe size.”

“And, that’s a bad thing?”

“Oh yes. Who’d want to live forever? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Harry knew that Bumblebore had now lost the screw that had been loose. Living forever sounded pretty groovy to him. If he did so, he might even be able to make some money in the stock market. Analyzing trends and such.

“Anyway,” Bumblebore continued, “I’m sure that you’re going to want to know how to destroy a Horcrux.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. sure.”

“Could I trouble you to get me an iced tea from over there?” Bumblebore pointed vaguely to a rather seedy place next to the Three Broomsticks Express. It was called The Rusty Cauldron Nail. “They make the best ones around Long Island, or so I hear.”

Harry walked toward it or towards it, he wasn’t certain. Anyway, he walked over and went inside the dark interior. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. There was a very long bar and a man behind it, wiping the wooden surface with a magical rag that left everything damp after it passed.

The man was tall and wore a spotted white apron. His black hair was combed straight back and unguentined into place. He had a sharp beaky nose and squinting eyes as
though he was always trying to focus on something. He had a toothpick that danced magically in his mouth when he spoke.

“What can I get you runt?” the man grumbled with a voice as if a well could speak. The toothpick did the rhumba.

“Do you have the iced tea like they make in Long Island?” Harry asked timidly.

“Sure. Anything else, bub?”

Harry shook his head.

The man turned and began pulling strangely shaped bottles from in front of a magical mirror that reflected the man’s opposite side than the one Harry could see and the bottles on the wall. “One Long Island Iced Tea coming up.” The man mixed different colored liquids together and the magically changed colors and became a blend of the colors they had been.

And so it goes…

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