Synopsis (first draft): Euclid and Penelope are star-crossed math lovers. They are from different worlds. They don’t speak the other’s language. She’s English. He’s American. Soon they learn that they have the common language, love—of mathematics—and it looks like a formula that equals love. But during a discussion of String Theory, Penelope discovers that Euclid is a P-Brane. She calculates their love doesn’t add up and she dumps him for the guy who makes the ice sculptures on a cruise ship of Liberian registry.
Opening Song – The Sage Called Pythagoras (sung to the tune of Aquarius from Hair)
When math is what I can espouse
And triangles beat the parallel bars
I believe calculi charts the planets
And gravity steers the stars
This is the cloning of the sage of Pythagoras
The sage of Pythagoras
Bemused as right angles landing
It’s calculus I’m understanding!
No more split infinitives
Just give me integers or derivatives!
Put it all in an equation
And you’ll hear the celestial sphere’s gyration
Repeat until bored