Jury Duty

Tuesday, 26 Aug 2008 (less than a week until Labor Day Weekend) was Jury Duty Day.

Oh, joy. Still, considering that I’m a writer, it’s a great time for people watching and gathering names, faces, clothing and hair styles, body shapes.

It started a few weeks ago when the jury summons came in one of those perforated, tear, fold, and mangle “envelopes” the government is so enamored with since it saves paper by not needing a real envelope. I ended up ripping my summons into pieces; partly through frustration and partly, well let’s face facts, jury summons rarely elicit celebratory huzzahs. Inside, I’m reminded of the paperwork one signs when buying insurance, a car, or a mortgage; printed in ten-point single-spaced type, it’s information. No one expects it to be read.

Parking is limited, so part of the summons doubles as a parking pass.

Inside, I see we’ve entered the 21st century, sort of, when I am required to put my stuff through an x-ray machine and then walk through a metal detector. It’s not as impressive as one might first suppose, the building has more holes than a made-for-TV mystery. For instance, there are no alarmed exit doors just signs in English warning that the doors are for emergencies only. Remember Blazing Saddles where the good guys put up a toll crossing in the middle of the desert and the bad guys dutifully stop, get the correct change, and go through the thing one at a time? That’s what I see. The lack of surveillance and/or alarms makes it comical, silly, and—in my opinion—more dangerous than no screeners. The screening is loose, a teenager in front of me is told he can’t take his energy drink can through the machine, instead he’s allowed to put it between the scanner and the metal detector and pick it up after he’s passed through. At least we didn’t have to remove our shoes.

The courtrooms are located on the 4th floor. I take the stairs since I dislike elevators and prefer walking. On the third floor, two signs announce that the 4th floor is accessible by the elevator only—no guard, no alarmed gate, just two signs. I go dutifully to the elevators.

Lake County’s courthouse has only the hallway to hang out in. There is no juror’s assembly area. We mill about, wearing clip-on nametags that say “Juror,” waiting to be called into one of the courtrooms for roll call. We’re quite a cross-section of the county.

There’s the guy chewing gum. He has a graying mustache, wire rim silver bifocals, shoulder length hair flecked with gray pulled into a pony tail that ends slightly below the collar, hair curling on the neck in tufts over the collar neck, balding on the sides of his forehead each forming an inverse vee on the skull, faded red short sleeve shirt with a gut that pushes over the belt, black pants, black Doc Marten style boots.

There’s the scowling biker-type bald guy. His shaved head glistens with sweat on the ends of short hairs, squinting eyes, reddish beard flecked with gray that comes down to Adam’s apple; what looks like a Buck knife on his right side (it’s probably a cell phone, but who knows, given the thoroughness of the screeners), gray polo shirt, black jeans.

One woman, I judge to be 18-22 is wearing 1940’s style office attire: black shoes with thick high heels, black skirt to just below the knee, grey top with capped sleeves, red hair in a bun. She wants to look all grown-up for the day. I later learn during jury questioning that she’s a recent high school graduate and is working for a Certified Public Accountant.

There’s a guy with black hair and brown eyes, wearing untied white canvas sneakers, gray shorts that come below the knees, and a t-shirt. He has one of those beards that starts below the chin and curls backward and a Fu Manchu mustache. He often leans back with an elbow draped on the back of the chair and stares into space.

Others are in Hawaiian shirts, shorts, and sandals. [Note: such attire is not acceptable in other counties, such as Sonoma]

At 9 a.m., we are herded into a courtroom that doesn’t hold us all. The bailiff, an older county sheriff does his best to get everyone seated. He has some sit in the jury box and brings chairs out from the jury deliberation room. A court employee sits behind a wooden desk and calls the roll. Her squarish face has a frowning mouth that looks like it needs a hook in it. Our names are mispronounced and then we respond by saying how many miles we came and if we waive our mileage. [I’m told other counties assign numbers to potential jurors and names are never used. Nor do they ask for mileage, Zip Codes determine distance.] It takes an hour to call the roll. We’re sent back out into the hallway to mill about until the next cattle call.

Doors to another courtroom open and another bailiff with white hair, paunch, and shuffling gait invites us into a smaller room. More chairs are brought out.

It’s at this point that I know that my fellow jurors didn’t read or (if they did) couldn’t decipher, the non-communicable English the summons/parking permit is written in. The bailiff explains the program, about one-third file out of the courtroom with their summons papers. Not me, I put the fragments on my dashboard when I parked.

We’re shown a schmaltzy video about how great we will feel after serving on a jury. It has good graphics and neato visuals showing people, some of whom, are supposed to be just like me. Everyone in the video says how good it made them feel and how worthwhile it is. Well, gee, I’ve served before as a juror and I didn’t like it. It’s a lot like being a parent trying to sort out who’s lying, who’s telling the truth, what, if any of the evidence or testimony matters—all for much higher stakes than a timeout in the corner.

The bailiff announces the judge, requires us to come to order and stand. The judge comes in and introduces himself. His white hair contrasts well with his black robes. The bailiff has us raise our right hands and swears us in.

The judge has kind eyes and an affable manner and has the court clerk read the charges against the defendant.

The defendant looks like a svelte Drew Carey with his gelled short haircut and black plastic-rimmed glasses. He wears a mint green long-sleeve shirt (I wonder how many tattoos might be hidden) and matching tie. His black shoes look very ordinary. He is accused of committing six felonies, including kidnapping, robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, and criminal threats.

The judge tells us what wonderful things these sorts of affairs are—jury trials I mean, not kidnappings or assaults—and that our system of justice is only one of a few in the world using juries. He also understands that our time is valuable so when we are selected for a jury our time should be focused on the facts of the case and not waiting while sidebars are conducted. He pledges to do attorney consults during lunch break or before/after court.

I’ll accept that our jury trial system is important to our functioning democracy. A proctology exam is important to my well-being. Neither one is in any way what you can call fun. In fact, it’s difficult to decide which I’d rather have; both, while necessary, are a royal pain between the cheeks.

And, by the way, he estimates the trial will take three weeks.

With that, we enter the ‘hardship’ excuse portion of the selection process, people have vacations, airline reservations, sick relatives, single-mothers who don’t have childcare; contractors who are in their busy time, and others. Out of the one hundred or so of us, the judge excuses about thirty of the group.

We’re given a break for bathrooms and nicotine. We shuffle to the door like cattle trying to get through the chute. The door puts us in the pen where we congregate for one of two elevators. No one is allowed to take the stairs from or to the fourth floor where the courtrooms are located. Seventy people wait for one of two elevators that take five to seven Americans at any one time.

When we return, we’re in the part of the process where the court determines if anyone knows any of the defense, prosecution, or the witnesses and would or might be influenced/prejudiced about the proceedings. A bunch of folks know the investigators, they worked with or went to school with them. Most say they can be impartial—liars, well maybe not lying, merely deluding themselves.

An older man stands. His hair is in a bowl-style cut with the hairline an inch above the ears. He wears black-rimmed glasses, a suit coat with tie, cream-colored shirt, black slacks, and Ostrich skin boots. He is soft-spoken, even reverential to the process. He says he’s not sure that he can put his feelings aside, seeing as how this case deals with the assault of a woman. The judge says that it doesn’t involve the assault of a woman and ‘does that change things?’ He says that it doesn’t bother him and sits down.

The judge moves on to people who have served on juries. It looks like about one-third of us have served and most of the juries we sat on reached verdicts.

We get out for lunch (12 noon-1:30)

Despite the judge’s admonition and pledge to have attorney consults during lunch break or before/after court, once we all arrive at 1:30 after lunch the attorneys for both sides leave to go to the Judge’s chambers with the court stenographer in tow.

The defendant rocks back in the chair.

After a five-minute consult, the counselors come back to the courtroom.

Now the court clerk reads names of those selected to be considered for being jurors for this case. The woman in the 1940’s noir clothes is among those picked, so is the man with the bowl cut.

My name is chosen. I sit in chair #17. I’m handed a sheet of paper with a list of questions;at the bottom of the sheet it says, “Please leave this questionire [emphasis is mine] on the chair when you leave. It doesn’t inspire confidence in me; the same level of care appears to have gone into the security of the building.

This is the voir dire portion of the trial; it’s designed to determine our qualifications, competence, and suitability for being a juror for this trial for these officers of the court and the accused. First, each of us states our name, years in the county, what town we live in, our marital status, our occupation, spouse’s occupation, children’s ages and occupations, our educational background, occupational history, and present employer.

I’m impressed with the number of college degrees I hear in our group.

Next, the defense attorney and the prosecuting attorney ask about specifics in our backgrounds. I’m asked by the defense attorney about my peace officer background, “will it cause you to be biased toward the police?” I tell him no, that in my previous experience on a jury we found the defendant not guilty. This brought chuckles from the two benches and the judge. The defense says, “you’re not supposed to tell.” “Well, you did ask,” the judge says. I wanted to tell them to “disregard that last statement,” but that might have branded me as a wiseass, which I am; I just don’t want to be branded as one. After their allotted time, the two benches have certain individuals excused ‘for cause.’

Oral questions follow this session. We’re in the ‘preemptory’ portion. In this part, a certain number of jurors may be dismissed by each side for anything, including eye color or dress style. I eventually get into the #11 Chair. Another six names are called and the voir dire starts for them. We continue to winnow and another six names are called to sit in the fill-in seats of 13-18.

One guy is excused. He has a DUI case pending. It’s possible the DA thought this might affect his state of mind.

The man with the bowl haircut stands and says he figures anyone who has that many law enforcement witnesses against him must be guilty. After a few minutes, he’s thanked for his time and excused.

After half an hour as a possible juror, I’m excused and thanked for my service. I don’t know why I was excused; it might have been due to the couple spots of taco sauce I picked up on my white shirt during lunch. Or perhaps that I let it slip about the not guilty verdict.

When I left, the eighteen year old was still a possible juror. I think the lawyers just thought she was cute.

For another take on the jury system, see Lee Lofland’s blog: The Graveyard Shift. There’s a good post on it here: Defense Attorney Jessa Nicholson: I Love A Jury!

Holy Snapping Duck Do!

Holy Snapping Duck Do!

I just climbed out from under my rock and realized I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts…

You would not believe how terribly tardy the horsedrawn Victorian Internet can be. Apologies to my regular readers, even the little blue ones!

I have become lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-English with only your readership as life preserver, selling my soul to Google, just generally being not online in order to simply write the Good-Enough American Novel, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from the second I am woken by murderous herons, grebes, and hummingbirds till I run out of alcohol. I am not complaining though. Well maybe just a little.

I will try to remember I promised you, I will try to try to make more of an effort to blog more often.

No, really!

What do you mean you don’t
believe me?

My thanks to “The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator” for making up 98% of this content.

Book Help Desk

The Medieval Tech Support skit taken from the show “Øystein og jeg” on Norwegian Broadcasting (NRK)in 2001. It is in Norwegian with English subtitles. It remains my favorite YouTube video.

According to the notes it features Øystein Backe (helper)and Rune Gokstad (desperate monk) and ws written by Knut Nærum.

With Kindles, E-Readers and other Digital Book devices, who knows? It may be that this skit isn’t so far off–in the future.

By the way, Nathan Bransford has posted a helpful on review on his Kindle.

Ten Words You Don't Want Used to Describe Your Story

Starting with “pretentious,” the Mysterious Matters blog lists “[T]he 10 worst words we can use to describe a manuscript.”

I scanned the list and think my ts fits, eight out of ten. Ouch.

I’ll keep at it. My story is simply waiting for a writer to appear to let it out.

Ten Words You Don’t Want Used to Describe Your Story

Starting with “pretentious,” the Mysterious Matters blog lists “[T]he 10 worst words we can use to describe a manuscript.”

I scanned the list and think my ts fits, eight out of ten. Ouch.

I’ll keep at it. My story is simply waiting for a writer to appear to let it out.

My Dana by AlphaSmart, One Year In

I got my Dana wireless by AlphaSmart about thirteen months ago so it feels like a good time to comment on how well I like the electronic critter. I do this partly because last week I attended the Willamette (rhymes with dammit) Writers’ Conference a week ago. People saw me using my Dana to take notes and would ask what the little widget was and how I liked it. “I’ve seen those in The Writer magazine and Writer’s Digest but I didn’t know if they were good or not.”

I love it.

On the Plus Side I’ve found:
  • It’s light and, at about two pounds, it’s quite portable.
  • It’s cool, literally. The battery does not get hot, not even warm, ever.
  • The battery’s charge lasts for a long time (continuously for about 24+ hours for a Dana and around 300+ hours for the AlphaSmart Neo).
  • If the battery dies, it can be replaced with three AA batteries and it’s up and running again. (Try that with a Laptop/Notebook)
  • No boot-up needed. It comes on instantly.
  • I can use it in lowlight conditions and in full outdoor sunlight.
  • It’s darn near indestructible. It’s made from durable polycarbonate ABS plastic and can operate in temperatures from freezing to desert hot.
  • Both the AlphaSmart Dana and it’s little brother, the Neo, run AlphaWord which synchronizes with either a PC or a Mac. I run an Apple Powerbook G4 and haven’t had any problems with connectivity. My only admonition would be to backup any important files before syncing.
  • AlphaWord is a decent word processor. Nothing fancy but it can do cut/paste; bold, italics, and underline; indents, different spacing possibilities; plus a few other features. Files are saved on the synced computer in rich text format (rtf).
  • A full sized keyboard that is more comfortable to type on than a notebook computer.
  • It uses flash memory so the moment something is typed it’s pretty much saved.
  • It’s great for taking notes. It’s unobtrusive. The LCD screen holds just enough text to see what I’ve typed but not so much that I want to be editing a page.
  • The AlphaSmart Dana has a few more whistles and bells than the Neo because it runs Palm OS v4.1 so you can keep your address list, memos, calendar, to do lists, and play some games.
  • The Neo and Dana are pretty affordable. But with the decreasing computer prices are close to the same price ranges with the low end of laptops/notebooks ($220 for Neo and $350-430 for Danas).
  • With the memory expansion cards, it can hold lots of text. I have the first draft of my 80K word novel on it plus plenty other files.
Some of the downsides I’ve found:
  • The model I have has wireless capability to check email and access the Internet. It sounds cool, but the WiFi connection is somewhat clunky and I’ve yet to find a decent email program or web browser for it (the ones I’ve seen cost enough to give me pause—do I need it that much?).
  • The small screen works in a pinch for editing document but is not optimal.
  • The flash memory means that you can’t return to a previous version on the Alpha unless you saved it to another name before you started.
  • The on/off button is on the keyboard. The unit can be turned on accidentally and any program files that are open can be changed.
  • Some of my Alpha’s keys are loose and ajar.


Elizabeth Lyon on Style and Voice

A few months back Elizabeth Lyon gave a talk about Style and Voice from her book Manuscript Makeover: Revision Techniques No Fiction Writer Can Afford To Ignore.

She says that she put style first in her book because style (words used to create a desired effect to fit genre and character),voice (“…the author’s natural use of language to create” authentic characters and story) and a good story, trump craft.

One technique she suggests is “riff writing.” Select a passage from your writing that seems sparse or overly tight and pick a point to “jump off” and free associate without limits to what goes into the text.

She recommends that after riffing on paper, give it a chance to cool off and then see if any or all of it fits into your story.

You might recall that I said, “Writing is like jazz. Each word, like each note, must be unexpected and yet feel inevitable, always following the theme. If it doesn’t echo the theme, then no matter how pure and clear, it sounds wrong.”

Ms Lyon spoke at a Vancouver Writers’ Mixer at Cover to Cover Bookstore in Vancouver, WA. Carolyn Rose and Mike Nettleton coordinate the mixers and are terrific folks. I’ve taken three of the courses they give at Clark College in Vancouver, WA. You might check out their Top Ten Mistakes Newbie Novelists Make.

Eric Witchey-Five Minutes on Fiction

Eric Witchey, Five Minutes on Fiction

In the video (part of Willamette Writers’ Five Minutes on Fiction) he talks about a common problem aspiring writers have and how to overcome the obstacle. He gives some good solid advice and it’s worth your time if you want to improve your writing.

Eric Witchey has published science fiction, fantasy, horror, literary, romance, erotica, outdoor adventure, young-adult, and true crime stories. According to his bio, [w]hen not teaching or writing, he restores antique HO locomotives or tosses bits of feather and pointy wire at laughing trout.”

In the video he mentions a story he sold titled Batbaby and Bigfoot vs. The Blood Trucking Vampire. You can find it here at Fortean Bureau.

I saw Eric at this year’s Willamette Writers’ Conference and he alone made it worth my while (if you’re interested, next year’s conference is August 7-9, 2009).

Wiring Your Story

Lynn Viehl (39 novels in 5 genres) is fast becoming my favorite blogger. Her Paperback Writer blog of July 28, 2008 is terrific. It’s titled VW#1: Power Plotting (I think VW = Virtual Workshop). I’ve heard of stories compared to building before, but her use of electricity as the power and the wiring as how it moves through the story, and is delivered, just works for me.