THE WEEK (motto: All You Need to Know About Everything That Matters) is a great weekly news magazine. We love it. It’s full of great writing from all over the world.
Well, last week on the last page they added something new, a contest. The prize was one year’s subscription to The Week. We were asked to come up with the opening (first five sentences or so) of a romance novel starring Sarah Palin. I entered but didn’t win. Their winner is here.
Here are my and Mary’s entries:
Sarah whispered into his ear, “I thought guys like you were only in, you know, books. Not only can you can field strip and clean a Glockenspiel TRX-7 assault rifle, but you know about my, well. . . everything, even my plumbing.” She winked.
“Yeah, well, when you’ve watched Red Dawn as many times as I have, you learn a thing or two about guns.” He fished his plumber’s snake into Sarah’s cleaning outlet. “And plumbing’s easy. You don’t need a fancy license or nothin’. Just have to know that water seeks its own level.”
Sarah moved closer. “Just like me and you, huh?”
* * *
“If it were wrong, why would God make it feel so good?” Sarah bit her lip and fiddled with the top button of her blouse. “I mean, God does work in really mysterious ways doesn’t he?”
Joe set the toilet on top of the wax ring. “I guess so.”
“Say you don’t know, Joe.” She winked into the mirror. “Sure he does. How else would I have been given a charge card with unlimited credit for my new wardrobe? God knew I needed it.”
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On to this week’s contest, “the next dumb study.” If you’re interested, entries are emailed and due by 5 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Jan. 19.
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Nullius in Verba 
(For the Australian shark logo)
Give your ex a parting gift. Come to our beaches and pet the pretty dolphins.
Good one, you might want to email that one along to “whatnext@theweek.com” be sure to have “Tourism Slogan” in the subject line.
I sent, Come for the surf, stay for the seafood.