THE WEEK magazine’s contest for this week involved studies that state the obvious:
A new study has determined that the closer teenagers live to a lot of liquor stores, the more likely it is that they will drink. Astounding! Please invent another scientific study that proves the obvious and provide the headline for that study. For example: Students Who Study Outperform Those Who Don’t on Tests, New Study Finds.
Here were the ones I cooked up, the one with the star is the one I sent in:
- Study finds military better at nation breaking than nation building.
- Study finds similarly hued grass on the other side.
- Study finds other grasses to be greener.
- Study finds a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
- Study finds birds in the bush to be overrated.
- Study finds avians eschew congregating amongst similarly feathered cohort.
- Study concludes ‘more study needed’ into whether more studies are needed.*
What studies would you suggest?