Take Off Your Shoes and Say Aack

“Make sure your seat backs are in the upright position and that your tray tables are locked.”

Mary and I fly Southwest Airlines. The attendants are friendly (if just a little loud), it’s efficient, and it’s cheap. We are not frequent travelers but we just got back from a family reunion in Corolla on North Carolina’s Outer Banks. It seems that whoever delivers the safety orientation has a voice amplified to a volume that is capable of cutting steel. Jamming fingers in the ears barely lowers the volume. I’ve run quieter chainsaws.

The gauntlet that one has to run to get jammed into a seat only a crash dummy would not complain about. Security is a haphazard affair. On the way east out of Smurf International (AKA SMF-Sacramento), the fine folks of the Transportation Safety Administration had backed up the morning flyers a couple hundred yards (mind you we had arrived two hours in advance of our flight). These people make Mack Sennett‘s Keystone Cops seem organized. Apparently, someone eventually realized that if they scanned each bag for five minutes 95% of the passengers would miss their flights and they (the TSA people not the passengers) would lose their phony-baloney jobs. So a conveyor belt that had looked like it was being run by an arthritic supermarket checker roared into hyperdrive. Our bags shot out the scanner’s opening like particles from the super-collider. We’d forgotten to take out the liquids and I’d left my pen knife in my backpack. No matter. They weren’t noticing anything besides Uzis and light artillery.

On the return trip to Smurf International, the TSA person at Baltimore had me adjust my driver’s license in my wallet (while also trying to hold my shoes, liquids, and laptop) in order to check the expiration date. Good to know that they’re now enforcing traffic laws, though what the expiration date has to do with confirming my identity eludes me. Terrorists can’t create a fake ID with a valid date? I’m not the person in the picture on the day after my license expires?

Forestacean


I don’t know what these crabs represent—other than the Chesapeake—or why they’re around what are called the inner banks of North Carolina (abbreviated IBX—Outer Banks is OBX).

I do know that Santa Rosa (northern California) did something similar with Charlie Brown figures—Charles Schultz lived in Santa Rosa until his death. People, shops, and companies decorated fiberglass Charlie Browns and then these were displayed all over town.

I liked this one—painted by Weyerhauser—it is called “Forestacean.” Close to a Timber Beast’s heart.

Sleepus interruptus

First off, congratulations to Colleen and Brian on tying the knot. May the wind always be at your back or something like that. Lucky 7s are a good way to start the new life.

Now, I need to say that this will sound unpatriotic of me. I hate the 4th of July. I hate 4ths of July that happen on Wednesdays most of all—with a passion. While I like the rocket’s red glare and all, it’s the idjuts that drive me bananas. Mary and I decided to get out of dodge for Independence Day on the lake this year. We headed for our condo in Vancouver, Washington; thinking that it would be mellower, fewer high powered firearms, fewer jet skis.

Aside from fewer jet skis, we struck out on every other front. Exploding stuff interrupts my sleep in two ways. First, by being loud, bright, and concussive. Second, those bright loud concussive things upset Peaches for hours after the idjuts have passed out drunk. There’s nothing quite like a terrified doggie pacing and whining to spoil a few zzz’s. This happened on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

Thinking that the fireworks shows were finally finished, we came back Thursday night and slept soundly only to have Friday provide another fireworkian extravaganza at Konocti Resort about a mile away. Peaches whined, paced, whimpered, trembled, and such in a way generally not conducive to getting a good night’s rest until the wee hours of the morning.

Happy 4th of July? Bah. Humbug.

Dana's here

The Dana wireless by Alphasmart showed up yesterday. It is way cool. It found my Powerbook G4 with no problem. I’ll be able to do my work on it and send the text to the Apple for editing. Now if it would only write a universally beloved novel for me, I’d be a happy guy.

Mary and I drove 600 miles from Vancouver, WA to home yesterday and the Dana was waiting for us. I had been tracking it for several days and hoped that it would arrive just about the same time we returned from Washington, which it did. What a warm day it was for travel—at one point the thermometer peaked at 116 (that’s fooking hot for my UK readers) near Shasta Lake. Hooray for air conditioning.

During our trip south, Mary read to me two stories assigned by YouWriteOn.com. One with fluid language but no discernible plot. The other (a putative thriller) with little discernible plot, overwrought language, maddening head hopping, and an unsympathetic protagonist.

Mary recorded our impressions on the (older) Alphasmart 2000 as we drove. I’ve already transferred the text to a Word file and will write up my full review sometime today.

This Dana is a sweet little gizmo. I’m going to use it mostly for writing but supposedly I could check email. I’m not sure I need to do much more than work up responses which I can do with the little word-processing program.

Dana’s here

The Dana wireless by Alphasmart showed up yesterday. It is way cool. It found my Powerbook G4 with no problem. I’ll be able to do my work on it and send the text to the Apple for editing. Now if it would only write a universally beloved novel for me, I’d be a happy guy.

Mary and I drove 600 miles from Vancouver, WA to home yesterday and the Dana was waiting for us. I had been tracking it for several days and hoped that it would arrive just about the same time we returned from Washington, which it did. What a warm day it was for travel—at one point the thermometer peaked at 116 (that’s fooking hot for my UK readers) near Shasta Lake. Hooray for air conditioning.

During our trip south, Mary read to me two stories assigned by YouWriteOn.com. One with fluid language but no discernible plot. The other (a putative thriller) with little discernible plot, overwrought language, maddening head hopping, and an unsympathetic protagonist.

Mary recorded our impressions on the (older) Alphasmart 2000 as we drove. I’ve already transferred the text to a Word file and will write up my full review sometime today.

This Dana is a sweet little gizmo. I’m going to use it mostly for writing but supposedly I could check email. I’m not sure I need to do much more than work up responses which I can do with the little word-processing program.

Cool Running AlphaSmart


Well I’ve gone and drunk the Kool-Aid.

I’ve ordered an AlphaSmart Dana wireless. I can’t wait for it to get here. When it does, I’ll take a picture to show you.

I know I said the fact it only lasted 24+ hours on a charge vs the 120 hours of the Alphasmart 2000 or the 700 hours of the Neo bugged me. What turned the tide is that I learned that if the charge poops out I can load in three AA batteries and it’s up and running again. The Dana runs Palm OS 4.1.2, which is an operating system that I know. I’ve owned Palm PDAs (Personal Digital Assistant) for almost a decade now. If Windows could be as stable an operating system as Palm OS, I’d be positively giddy.

With all the nifty stuff that these AlphaSmarts do so well, I don’t know why they aren’t more popular. These are darn sweet little machines. They are handy, incredibly light (two pounds), and—quite literally—cool; it doesn’t try to set your lap on fire like a laptop will.

Alphasmart in the car

My friend Carl celebrated his 30th anniversary in ministry Sunday. Carl’s been at St. Luke’s Lutheran (ELCA) for about 15 years; he’s one of the most grounded and compassionate people I know. I met Carl, wife Triss, and daughter Holly when Carl answered the call for pastoring at Trinity Lutheran in Porterville, CA where I lived back in the 1980’s.

As Mary and I drove down to south Sacramento on Sunday we read aloud an excerpt of Lexi Revellian’s Trav Zander on the way. Trav Zander has one of the best opening lines I’ve read on YouWriteOn.com: “I wish to acquire a dragon.” Lexi admits that line wasn’t her first choice. Writers work alone, in a non-collaborative, non-committeefied way. Yet we get feedback and consider the worth of the advice. Alan (aka Plumboz) had recommended taking that line from further in the story and making it the starting point. I like it. Trav, the protagonist, is a doer of deeds and a seeker of fortune. He has a good heart, an honest streak, and no ability to price out jobs. Pretty much anything for a buck, an entrepreneur. Let’s face it, he’s a whore.

What do these two disparate themes (Carl’s fete and a YWO review) have in common? I drafted my review of Trav Zander on the way to Sacramento using the AlphaSmart. It’s an amazing little device. The LCD screen is plainly visible in bright sunlight; try using a laptop outdoors or in a car. And it doesn’t get hot even if it stays on for awhile. And it is lighter weight than a laptop. And it automatically saves everything I type. Shall I continue?

I like the longevity of the batteries. I’m already thinking of upgrading to an AlphaSmart 3000 or Neo. I looked at the AlphaSmart Dana which uses Palm OS 4.1 software but it has a rechargeable battery and it lasts ‘only’ 25. The Neo lasts 700 on three AA batteries. Neo only does the one thing—wordprocessing—but that’s 80% of what I’d use it for anyway.

After we attended Carl’s Lutheran service at St. Lukes’s, we had an outstanding lunch at BJ’s brewery in Elk Grove, and stopped by Carl’s house to say hello, then we hopped and stopped our way to the SF Bay Area to see Lee and show Mary’s Haluzak recumbent bike to a potential buyer. SOLD! We hope the new owner enjoys it even more than Mary did.

The visit with Lee was fun and included the bonus of meeting his new hamster.

And the reason for the upgrade from the AlphaSmart to a Neo or Dana? Only the one computer of the five that we own will accept the text that is written on the AlphaSmart 2000. It seems that the 2000 must be too old of technology for the newer PCs. Who knew?

Oh, the name of the antagonist in Trav Zander is also named Carl. I’m sure there’s no connection…

A Tale of Two Carls

My friend Carl celebrated his 30th anniversary in ministry Sunday. Carl’s been at St. Luke’s Lutheran (ELCA) for about 15 years; he’s one of the most grounded and compassionate people I know. I met Carl, wife Triss, and daughter Holly when Carl answered the call for pastoring at Trinity Lutheran in Porterville, CA where I lived back in the 1980’s.

As Mary and I drove down to south Sacramento on Sunday we read aloud an excerpt of Lexi Revellian’s Trav Zander on the way. Trav Zander has one of the best opening lines I’ve read on YouWriteOn.com: “I wish to acquire a dragon.” Lexi admits that line wasn’t her first choice. Writers work alone, in a non-collaborative, non-committeefied way. Yet we get feedback and consider the worth of the advice. Alan (aka Plumboz) had recommended taking that line from further in the story and making it the starting point. I like it. Trav, the protagonist, is a doer of deeds and a seeker of fortune. He has a good heart, an honest streak, and no ability to price out jobs. Pretty much anything for a buck, an entrepreneur. Let’s face it, he’s a whore.

What do these two disparate themes (Carl’s fete and a YWO review) have in common? I drafted my review of Trav Zander on the way to Sacramento using the AlphaSmart. It’s an amazing little device. The LCD screen is plainly visible in bright sunlight; try using a laptop outdoors or in a car. And it doesn’t get hot even if it stays on for awhile. And it is lighter weight than a laptop. And it automatically saves everything I type. Shall I continue?

I like the longevity of the batteries. I’m already thinking of upgrading to an AlphaSmart 3000 or Neo. I looked at the AlphaSmart Dana which uses Palm OS 4.1 software but it has a rechargeable battery and it lasts ‘only’ 25. The Neo lasts 700 on three AA batteries. Neo only does the one thing—wordprocessing—but that’s 80% of what I’d use it for anyway.

After we attended Carl’s Lutheran service at St. Lukes’s, we had an outstanding lunch at BJ’s brewery in Elk Grove, and stopped by Carl’s house to say hello, then we hopped and stopped our way to the SF Bay Area to see Lee and show Mary’s Haluzak recumbent bike to a potential buyer. SOLD! We hope the new owner enjoys it even more than Mary did.

The visit with Lee was fun and included the bonus of meeting his new hamster.

And the reason for the upgrade from the AlphaSmart to a Neo or Dana? Only the one computer of the five that we own will accept the text that is written on the AlphaSmart 2000. It seems that the 2000 must be too old of technology for the newer PCs. Who knew?

Oh, the name of the antagonist in Trav Zander is also named Carl. I’m sure there’s no connection…

AlphaSmartie Pants


I love gadgets. My latest bit of technology is a tad dated—a nifty AlphaSmart 2000. It weighs under three pounds, is pretty darn near indestructible, and goes 120-300 hours on three AA batteries.

I bought it used on eBay for around $40US.The power adapter is missing (I knew that when I bought it) but, like I said, it can go nearly forever on three (count ‘em 1, 2, 3) AA batteries.

I also purchased an AlphaSmart “USB to ADB cable” (CBL-UT20) to transfer stuff I’d typed from the 2000 to my Powerbook G4. When I plugged one to the other, my Apple G4 recognized an external keyboard had been connected but that’s as far as it went. I can’t get it to connect fully.

Our friend Alethea also bought an Alphasmart 2000 for her trip to Chile. She bought a totally different cable. Ancient. The fine folks who support the Dana and Neo (formerly called the 2000 the later the 3000) had never heard of the cable she had. But, wonder of wonders, it connects to a PC laptop. So I typed this note on the 2000, transferred it to the HP laptop, put the document on a flash drive memory stick, and moved that to my Powerbook G4 to upload to this here blog.

It may have been faster to simply type directly into the blog, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun.